


From The Ashes

by BuckyAndDanno



Series: Baby-Bird Buckley [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers!Buck, Buck Goes By Pheonix, Buck Is A Mutant, Buck Is Steve Rogers' Little Brother, Buck Is Steve's Baby Bird, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27497191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuckyAndDanno/pseuds/BuckyAndDanno
Summary: The 118 didn’t know very much about Evan Buckley’s past, and he preferred to keep it that way. It wasn’t even so much a condition of trust as opposed to the various ghost agencies involved and the absolute need for secrecy because lives depended on it. Yet when the 118 fails to have his back after the firetruck and the embolism, he’s grateful for his family in the shadows and to have a way still to help people. The problems arise when Eddie refuses to let him go, uncovering secrets along the way, and putting them all in mortal peril.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Steve Rogers
Series: Baby-Bird Buckley [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009485
Comments: 26
Kudos: 169





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [If The World Was Ending](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27079228) by [name_me_regret](https://archiveofourown.org/users/name_me_regret/pseuds/name_me_regret). 



> So I really should not be starting another story, but I was reading If The World Was Ending by name_me_regret this morning, and then I couldn’t get the idea out of my head of Buck being an Avenger/Mutant. In terms of shipping, because I know y’all know me and I am pretty much known for unusual ships, what do you want to see? I’m happy to make this a Buddie fic, but I also think Buck would be super cute with Bucky or *GASP* Loki. Leave a comment below if you wanna suggest a ship or something else!
> 
> Evan “Buck” Buckley, known as Pheonix. Mutant. Special powers: Control of fire, flame wings, accelerated healing ability from inflicted wounds (So the crush injury somewhat, but not the clots/embolism because those were natural).
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own 9-1-1 or the Marvel Universe :(
> 
> Trigger warning for non MC death, grief, referenced child abuse, and self-recrimination.

Fire is the first thing he knew.

Fire is the first thing he remembers.

Evan Buckley’s earliest memory is from when he was five years old, and his mother was taken by a house fire. He remembers Maddie’s cries, the scream of their father, the lash upon his back as he’s told that it’s his fault.

He didn’t understand what that meant until a few months later, when one of the kids at school is making fun of him for not having a mom anymore. He feels the stretch of lockers heat up under his hand, though the warmth is nothing less than comforting, watches as the bully pulls his own hand back with a yelp, nursing a red palm.

He still doesn’t quite understand until he’s brought into the principal’s office, until they’re throwing around the word Mutant like it’s contagious, until he’s left alone in a room.

He doesn’t fully understand until he’s back home, his father screaming in his face, and then his entire body is bursting into flames, red hot and ferocious. Somehow Maddie calms him before he can set anything alight, her hug everything in that one moment (and later he would wonder why it didn’t hurt her), but then he’s running.

He doesn’t know where he’s running to, but he understands, in that one moment, how he’s at fault for it all.

He doesn’t think he’s stopped running since.

Sure there have been times when he’s thought he was happy; when he’s thought he was allowed to be happy.

There had been the several years spent at Xavier’s school, learning that his power didn’t make him a freak, or dangerous, or a demon, or anything similar. It made him unique, gifted, special. It could make him a hero.

But Evan Buckley didn’t believe he deserved to be a hero. Not after his mom…

But he learns and he understands and he somewhat comes to accept himself, in the end.

And then there’s the moment when he turns 15, out on some street corner with Bobby, an ice cream apiece from their chore savings, when he hears a scream. They see the smoke, smell it, before they catch sight of the flames, and neither think before they’re running inside. They work in tandem, Bobby dousing the flames while Evan absorbs them, working towards the still conscious woman, then helping her out to the waiting fire trucks.

It’s the moment when Evan thinks that maybe he could be a hero, and seeing those men and women in fluorescent jackets, he wonders if he could be like them someday.

He wonders if that’s how he could make amends for his existence.

He’s 19 before he meets the Avengers. Somehow he and Bobby have landed on their radar, and while he was mildly disappointed to be pulled from the firefighter recruitment course before he’d even started, the excitement that builds up within him when they enter Avengers Tower is incomparable. He’s quickly taken under Cap’s wing, the older brother he never knew he needed, and then they’re out there, saving lives and defeating bad guys, and he’s filled with this intense need to help with everything that he has.

It’s great, for a while.

He’s 25 when the Superhero Registration Law comes in, fighting with Cap and Barnes against those he once called friends, family, because he knows all too well what it’s like to do something bad without meaning to – without having control – and having people hate you for it simply because of something you didn’t choose. He understands Tony’s pain, but he also understands Barnes’. So he protects them, and fights even when everything in him is screaming at him not to.

Even when it hurts.

Then it turns out the law was nothing but a front for Hydra’s rebuild within the Senate, that they’ve been played, and suddenly being a superhero is nothing like Evan thought it would be.

Suddenly, helping people, protecting, seems to mean hurting too.

They lose Kitty-Kat and Rhodes, Barton and Bobby. Evan loses his best friend. Natasha disappears. Thor goes off… somewhere. Tony’s lost to his own grief. Barnes is forced into hibernation while Wakanda works on the subliminal programming left in his arm and mind.

They win.

They lose.

All at once.

The Avengers disband, some sects still fighting for good and some retiring completely.

Evan contemplates going back to Xavier’s, teaching maybe, but he can’t bring himself to go back to the place where he shared so many memories with his friends.

He finds himself in LA, completes Firefighter training, and while it’s something he thought he would share with Bobby, he focuses on doing it in his memory.

He makes himself use his powers for good, even subtly, and while it seems to earn him a name for being ‘stupid and reckless,’ he knows he’s doing the only thing he can to remind himself that he is a good person; that he can and will save people.

That he’s earning his recompense.

Yes, it feels odd calling his new Captain ‘Cap’ or ‘Bobby’ but he forces himself to remember they’re different people.

He forces himself to keep his past where it is. In the past.

They ask him questions and he deflects easily, lies with the skill and grace of someone taught in part by Tony Stark, lets the wall of Evan Buckley build up around himself until Pheonix is nothing more than a small, wound box in the middle, shrouded from any and all prying eyes.

He becomes who they want to see.

From the ashes, he rises once more.

And then, just as he finds himself happy for the first time in a long while, it all burns down around him once more.

“My house, my rules.” Bobby tells him at the front of the rage room, and Evan feels his heart sink completely. He’d thought he was only doing what he could to get his job back, but instead he’s left with nothing more than a broken heart and an even more intense feeling of just not belonging.

For the fourth time in just as many days he finds himself gripping the black burner phone in the hidden pocket of his cargo pants and fighting the urge to call Steve; fighting the urge to just run and leave all of this behind.

It’s not until his first shift back, when he’s met with nothing more than glares and cleverly veiled insults, that he realises any home he’d made in LA was well and truly gone, and his hand again reaches for that phone.

For the first time, as Eddie ignores him, Hen throws sad glances his way but does nothing to fight for him, and Chim stays silent – as Bobby refuses to let him go out on calls and blatantly says he doesn’t trust Buck – he gives in. Slumped against one of the walls in the shadow of the parking lot, he presses the phone to his ear and prays that the other person picks up.

“Baby bird?”

Steve’s voice is nothing less than a balm on his frayed nerves and tattered soul, and he finds himself sobbing down the line to his former mentor, telling him everything that’s happened and everything he’s feeling. He doesn’t feel like a hero or a firefighter in that moment; he feels like a scared kid wanting his brother to make it all better.

“I want to come home.” He whispers, even though he knows the tower is long gone and the family broken up. Even though he knows it can’t go back to how it was.

Except, there’s a smile in Steve’s tone as he says. “So come home.”

“But…”

“No buts, baby bird. I was gonna call you myself anyway.” Steve replies. “There’s something brewing Pheons, and its way bigger than us. Me and Tony… we’ve made amends. We’ve brought the team back together.”

Evan just blinks down the phone, jaw slack. “You… have?”

“Yeah.” Steve replies. “We’re just missing our youngest.”

Evan swallows, a true smile appearing on his lips for the first time in months. “Sounds like I can’t refuse then.”

“I mean, you could, but then we wouldn’t be able to stop Bruce from coming after you.”

Evan actually laughs at that, even if the sound is completely foreign to his own ears. “Okay, you’ve twisted my arm.”

“Good to hear, kid.” Steve replies with his own laugh. “I’ll ask Tony to send one of the jets.”

“See you soon.”

He closes the phone with a chuckle, smile not slipping from its place on his lips, even when Hen rounds the corner, eyeing him sadly.

“Hey Buckaroo.”

He quickly wipes the remaining tears from his eyes and looks up at her. “Not heard that in a while.”

“They’ll come around.” She says softly. “They’re just hurting.”

“And I’m not?” He replies, a little snappily. He’s tired of always being the bad guy, of feeling like he has to try and make reparations constantly, without anyone caring about his own feelings or wellbeing. Maybe it’s the conversation with Steve, but he reminds himself that he’s a god-damn superhero, has saved countless lives, and he shouldn’t be being made to feel bad for wanting to continue that work.

He shakes his head at Hen, pushing himself up to stand. “You know what, it doesn’t matter.” He ignores the confused look on her face as he turns and makes his way back inside the firehouse. “I’m not gonna be your problem for much longer anyway.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The arrival time of the jet isn’t gonna be realistic, but I struggled with writing the 118’s response, Hen’s specifically, to Evan’s last comment and not have it seem stale then waiting for Evan to actually leave, if that makes sense? Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own 9-1-1 or the Marvel Universe!

He feels Hen follow him back inside, and then she’s calling out to him, “What does that mean, Buck?” and he stops, feeling all eyes suddenly on the two of them.

Silence follows, and he can almost feel the core team thinking ‘Why is she talking to him? What has he said?’ or worse, ‘What’s Buck done now?’

It hurts to know how little they think of him now, how little they want anything to do with him, and yet he makes one comment and suddenly she’s… what? Concerned?

He feels suddenly torn, conflicted in the silence that has followed. Does he just say it doesn’t matter, continue like the ghost they’ve pretended he is, or does he say what he’s really thinking? Does it even matter if he’s leaving?

“Buckaroo?”

It’s that one word, once a beloved nickname and now nothing more than a taunt of the past – used so casually, like she deserves it, where it had been withheld – that breaks him open and allows everything to spill out.

“Don’t.” He whirls. “Don’t pretend you care now. Not when you’ve spent the whole day, the whole month, acting like I don’t exist.”

He can see her reel, hurt flashing in her eyes, but he can’t bring himself to care. “I do care Buck.”

“Funny way of showing it.”

Her brow furrows, just slightly. “We’re allowed to be hurt over what you did, but that doesn’t mean we don’t still love you.”

It’s flowing now, hot like lava, erupting out of every pore and he can’t stop it. “What **I** did? Hen, what I did was try and get my job back; a job that was unfairly withheld from me!”

“You weren’t’ ready.” Bobby says, stepping forward, face a mask of both annoyance and concern. Buck can guess which one is aimed at him. “From this, I can see you still aren’t.”

Buck just laughs. “Oh, but Chim was ready weeks after getting rebar through his skull or being shot? You were, after relapsing?”

Bobby’s face morphs, suddenly furious. “That’s none of your – “

“Concern? Business?” Buck interjects, his own fury and ire rising. “I’d say it is seeing as that’s what my case was built on, **Captain.** Unfair discrimination.” He shakes his head, a darker laugh escaping him. “You know what, I honestly don’t care anymore.”

He sees their faces shift to confusion now, and has to admit it is somewhat gleeful to be the person holding all the cards now. “We were all there for both of you. **I** was there for you; for Hen, when she cheated on her wife, for Eddie, when Shannon died and from the beginning with Christopher, but when I needed you all? When I nearly died **three times in a few months**?” He looks around at them all, made of sadness and fury and just completely destroyed. “ **Where the hell were you then?!”**

He’s shaking, tears dripping down his face, just as he hears the familiar ‘whoomph’ of one of the Stark Jets coming down to hover overhead. “You all like to make me feel like I’m the only one who makes mistakes, but I think you should look at yourselves before deciding to judge me.” He looks at Bobby directly, at the fliting emotions on the man’s face, and sighs. “I’m done. Captain Nash, you win, okay? You win. I quit.”

Then he turns, making his way outside once more. He barely gets to the shutters before a large hand clamps around his arm, turning him back.

“What are you…?”

Eddie, looking at him with such a mix of anger and despair that Buck has to wonder how the man hasn’t combusted yet. The blonde haired firefighter had never been blind to his feelings for the other man, but he knew how to read people and it had been clear from day 1 that Eddie was a thousand percent emotionally constipated. The past month had only exacerbated that.

“This guy bothering you, Ev?”

The familiar voice is like music to Evan’s ears, but he also delights in the sudden gasps from the 118; the comments of ‘That’s Captain America?’ and sheer confusion that suddenly fills the air.

He pulls away from Eddie, turning to face Steve with the biggest grin. “Not anymore, Stevie.”

Steve grins back, slipping an arm around his shoulders and leading him out towards the waiting jet.

“Buck!” Eddie calls out, frozen at the station entrance. “You’re just gonna leave? After everything?”

“After what?” Buck says, turning back. “After being forgotten by those I called family?” He shakes his head, doesn’t wait for a response, turns back. “You were all fine without me before. Why not now?”

Then the jet ramp retracts, closes behind them, and it’s over. Then there’s just a hole in his heart where the 118 used to be.

“You okay, Ev?” Steve asks, face awash with concern, and the sheer power of it just breaks Buck in two, sending him sobbing into Steve’s chest with the weight of it all.

The supersoldier takes it all in stride, holding Evan close, whispering softly to him, before lifting him easily and taking him deeper into the jet, towards the ‘living area’. “J2?” The computer beeps. “Set a course back. ETA three hours.” He knows the kid is going to need some time to unmuddle his thoughts before he gets back to the Tower.

“Course set, Mr Rogers.” J2 responds, and Steve feels the moment the jet rises, takes off. He continues, pushing open a door to reveal a comfortable looking living area. One side is lined with plush looking couches, and Steve grins at the room’s other occupant before placing Evan a little unceremoniously next to them.

“Look what I found Bucky.”

James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes grins back at his partner before looking down at a still sniffling Evan. “Does the little birdy need cuddles?” He doesn’t wait for Evan to respond before pulling him into his embrace.

Evan clings to Bucky tightly, burying his head into the other man’s shoulder. “Missed you Bucky.”

Bucky just clings back to him, smiling softly and caressing Buck’s head with his non-metal hand. “Missed you too Birdy.”

Evan hiccups. “D-Don’t think I’ve b-been B-Birdy for a wh-while.”

“You’ll always be my Birdy.”

“Speaking of,” Steve says, having watched the two interact with fondness, “Do you want to spread out a bit?”

Evan blinks up at Steve, as if suddenly realising that he didn’t have to hide anymore; that he was among friends. Slowly, a smile spreads across his face, and he nods. “Will you help me?”

Slipping off his shirt, he turns to that his back is directed to Steve, head still resting slightly on Bucky’s shoulder.

Steve takes in a breath as he looks at the tightly packed wings pressed against Buck’s spine, layers of thick crisscrossed tape holding them in place. Carefully, he starts peeling the strips off, brow furrowing at how sticky the bottom layers are. “Birdy, how long have these been on here?”

Evan dips his head away with a sigh. “Embolysm. One of the nurses is a mutant. Helped me tape them back with lead lined stuff to fool the scans.”

Steve doesn’t say anything at first, just peels the last layers off and lets his hands carefully ruffle the coal grey feathers, brushing out bits of dirt and stimulating the blood flow. “You don’t have to hide anymore, kid.”

Buck just gives a soft, happy coo at the touches, and carefully shifts the extra muscles at his back, letting the wings slowly spread out. The black wings unfurl to about 7 feet each in length, glossy and bright under the jet’s fluorescent lights.

“Pretty Birdy.” Bucky says as one of the wings wraps around him.

Buck can’t help but preen at the compliment, cheeks rosy pink.

“We’ve missed you.” Steve says, taking a seat on the other side of Buck.

Buck smiles and settles back into the couch, wings wrapped around his pseudo brothers, snuggling into both of them. For the next three hours, he feels loved and cared for and accepted, and lets himself just bask in it all.

Then J2 is informing them that they’re arriving at the tower, and Buck feels his stomach roil suddenly. Steve squeezes his shoulder, like a silent pep talk, but Buck can’t relax as they leave the jet and step into the tower.

He’s about to see a man he hasn’t seen in years, the person he knows was hurt most when he chose to fight for Cap, who was then hurt worse in the ensuing battle against Hydra; Tony Stark.

It doesn’t matter that Steve said everything was good now. It doesn’t matter that the team is back together. It doesn’t matter that Evan is here.

All that matters is if Tony still cares about him, or if Evan finds two families ripped from him in the space of 24 hours.

The thick silver doors open into the main area of the Tower, and then Tony is stood in front of him, a smile on his face and arms open wide. “Hey, kiddo.”

In the space of a second, every bad feeling leaves him, and he’s rushing into Tony’s arms, hugging him so tightly.

He’s home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone requested Stucky, and I adore them, so Stucky you shall get. I also just love the idea of ‘soft boi’ Bucky, so he’s the softest boi ever.

**Author's Note:**

> The Universe is a mix of comic and film, amended slightly. If you wanna go by film verse, it's post Civil War, but with more Hydra and the x-men included.


End file.
